Light up the sky...

Ironically...I use that term loosely because I believe in an almighty God...right after I posted my last entry about wallowing and feeling alone I stepped outside and had the most amazing experience.  I had the privilege of watching a thunderstorm make it's approach into Abilene.  Now, I am not normally a thunderstorm person.  I grew up in areas prone to tornados, and so I have a healthy fear of all things "thundery" and "boomery".  But, just in case you didn't get the memo, I love Texas...and that seems to have changed a lot of things for me.  The sky is absolutely HUGE here and it gives you a wonderful vantage point from which to view God's spectacular weather systems.

 In that moment of seeing the bolts of lightning streak through thick pillars of dark clouds and feeling the wind swirling around my body, I knew I was not alone...God was present.  Just like each and every day of my life.  Why do I forget this?!  I grabbed my camera...

The pictures hardly do the moment justice, but I needed a tangible reminder of that moment with my God.  I have a favorite song right now by The Afters called "Light Up the Sky" that sums up a lot of how I felt that night.  God is always present in our lives and is constantly reminding us of this.  We only have to open our eyes and look around to see the evidence!

nothing to do but Wallow...
Do you ever have one of those moments where you are feeling stupid and sorry for yourself?  I am having one of those nights.  It's probably being brought on by the fact that my husband is out of town and for the first time, since the move, I am completely on my own to contemplate.

I really love living in Texas.  My heart feels as big as the state every time I go outside and feel the wind in my face.  That has probably been the one thing that has "saved" me since moving here.  But here I sit, kids in bed, with nothing to do but wallow.  I wish I had a close friend that I could call up to come over and sit on the couch with me.  We could drink a cup of tea and she wouldn't care that I was feeling sorry for myself or that I looked like I was feeling sorry for myself.  I have had a handful of these kind of friends throughout my life...and it's their faces that  I wish I could see right now.

That is the hardest thing about military life.  I love the adventure of moving and living in different places.  If I lived 200 years ago they would say I have "wander lust".  My romantic heart sees the true beauty in all of the places that we go.  But there is that shy part of me that takes a really long time to foster the type of relationship that I am craving.  I have a very outgoing, charismatic husband.  He is the complete opposite of me.  It's what drew me to him and what I love about him.  But, I think I tend to hide behind him, peering out until it is safe to test the waters myself.  Only to find, the packers are coming and it's starting all over again.