nothing to do but Wallow...
Do you ever have one of those moments where you are feeling stupid and sorry for yourself?  I am having one of those nights.  It's probably being brought on by the fact that my husband is out of town and for the first time, since the move, I am completely on my own to contemplate.

I really love living in Texas.  My heart feels as big as the state every time I go outside and feel the wind in my face.  That has probably been the one thing that has "saved" me since moving here.  But here I sit, kids in bed, with nothing to do but wallow.  I wish I had a close friend that I could call up to come over and sit on the couch with me.  We could drink a cup of tea and she wouldn't care that I was feeling sorry for myself or that I looked like I was feeling sorry for myself.  I have had a handful of these kind of friends throughout my life...and it's their faces that  I wish I could see right now.

That is the hardest thing about military life.  I love the adventure of moving and living in different places.  If I lived 200 years ago they would say I have "wander lust".  My romantic heart sees the true beauty in all of the places that we go.  But there is that shy part of me that takes a really long time to foster the type of relationship that I am craving.  I have a very outgoing, charismatic husband.  He is the complete opposite of me.  It's what drew me to him and what I love about him.  But, I think I tend to hide behind him, peering out until it is safe to test the waters myself.  Only to find, the packers are coming and it's starting all over again.